In my family we never talked about sex. That did not surprise me, I thought that it was quite normal. I have since found out that other families are much more open about the subject. Whether this is good or not, is not really relevant to this post. What I want to write about is that probably because of that, I always thought that a “don’t ask don’t tell” policy regarding homosexuality was enough to solve discrimination problems in the workplace. I was wrong, dead wrong. Problems do not disappear by simply avoiding talking about the subject.
At the company I work for, employees know that gays should inform their manager about their sexual orientation. The idea is that by disclosing this information, managers can make sure that they do not become the victims of discrimination.
Why would managers need to know the sexual orientation of their staff? After all, it is our responsibility to make sure that no discriminatory behaviors happen in our teams? I think that this makes it more personal. A couple of weeks ago I was in a meting where someone started to make inappropriate sexual jokes. Knowing that I had gay members of my team present made me stop her immediately. I knew that she was hurting them. If I had not known I would probably not have realized the gravity of the situation. That is why “don’t ask don’t tell” doesn’t work. Nobody should have to hide any personal characteristic in order to avoid discrimination while suffering in silence.
Don’t get me wrong, while the policy works it also generates some problems. Many straight persons in the company believe that gays are over protected and that some managers are scared to fire homosexuals because they can be accused of homophobia. I can see that happening with unexperienced managers but overall I do not really buy it.